Do I want to see this movie?

Normally, the thought of a Dutch indie horror film alone would be enough to get me to push the pay per view button. And its a "demented surgeon" movie, too. (The only more attractive possibility is a partially devoured demented surgeon).

Daniel Engber in Slate gives "Human Centipede" a remarkably luke warm endorsement, "This film has less nauseous gore than you'd find in many mainstream American horror movies".http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/browbeat/archive/2010/04/30/the-human-centipede-s-delicate-touch.asp

And there is a guide to watching the movie without vomiting

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/04/vultures_guide_to_watching_the.html

All this was appealing, but then I watched the trailer and it scared me.

Now it is not really true that I will watch anything. I couldn't get through "Hostel", although I loved the "Saw" movies. And if there is such a thing as torture porn I am not sure I know it when I see it.

But there is good gore and bad gore. Bad gore is a scene in "Zombies of Mass Destruction" where the bad guy nails a young woman's foot to the floor. I saw the wretched movie about a month ago and can't remember who the bad guy was. I never cared enough to know who the semi-naked victim was or how she got there. Eventually the nail was pulled out - another wince - and nothing that advanced the stupid plot. Maybe not torture porn, but certainly crap. Boring, yeechy crap.

In the "Crazies", the hero's hand is impaled on the floor with a knife as he is fighting for his life.

He pulls the knife from the floor and uses the point that protrudes from his hand to kill one of the infected women who is about to kill someone. Blood all over and a gasp - does this blood in his wound infect him and doom him? Pause for a beat, then he (and we) remember that the infectious agent is transmitted by the airborne route. A small detail that makes this modest movie brilliant. Same gore, different effect.

So I'll think about "Centipede" for another day. I think the appeal of the Dutch indie will win out. Besides, I'm a grownup. Even if I have paid for the movie I know how to turn it off if necessary.

And the trailer is always the scariest part anyway.